What Dreams we Chase

Over the last few days I’ve been thinking a wee bit about what it is in life that makes me happy, what makes me tick, what keeps me feeling well and balanced.  I think it’s come out of the fact that I’ve been having to adjust my expectations of myself a bit: I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather with an ongoing, unresolved health issue – nothing major (as far as I’m aware!) – but enough that it has an impact on the way I’m living my life.  In recent years, physical fitness and keeping in shape have become really important to me, and a huge part of my identity (see this post about my days of racing my bike!).  Now that I’m not feeling so on form, I’m having to accept to the fact that at this time in my life I’m not destined to be super fit and doing intense exercise nearly every day, which not only means changing my lifestyle a little but also adjusting the very identity for myself that I’ve formed over the last few years!

Another side-effect of my slightly ill health is that I’ve found myself choosing to spend more time at home, especially in the evenings, when usually I’m out and about all the time.  This is in a quest not to over-do it, but I fear I may have been under-doing it as a result!  Naturally this doesn’t have the best effect on my mood, hence the philosophising about what I want out of life - which, of course, isn’t such a bad thing – silver linings and all that!

So, what have I come up with?  Well, firstly the fact that I can still do gentle exercise to keep in shape, which is a lot more than can be said for a lot of people so I should stop feeling so sorry for myself!  AND that time not being spent exercising can be spent doing other things that are important to me, of which there are plenty to keep me occupied (blogging being one of them)!

I’ve put my vague sense of discontent over the last few days down to being too inactive and just generally being fed up of not knowing quite what’s wrong with me physically (if anything) and how best to deal with it.  And it probably is those things.  But still, I got myself thinking about what I want to achieve in life.  I’ve got the best job I’ve ever had and it feels like the best things I could be doing right now.  Every day I help people on their journeys towards healthier lifestyles, which is pretty much the stuff of my dreams.  But I’ve realised it’s also important to keep alive my quest to be a part of radical change in the world of mental health.  To Western civilisation move away from the horrifying grip of medical psychiatry and start treating distressed people as people and not diseases. 

At a work event recently a discussion about mental health cropped up.  Currently the service I work in does not explicitly support people through mental health difficulties (although this may be a by-product of supporting people to make lifestyle changes for the benefits of their physical health!).  The upshot of the conversation was that our service is non-clinical, which makes mental health fall outside of its remit.  Anyone who knows me well (or has seen my posts such as Freedom and The Stairway to Heaven... may well guess where I’m going next with this…!

Mental. Health. Is. Not. Clinical.  That’s what I think!  Some of you may be sick of hearing me talk about it, but it’s something I feel very strongly about but have not put much time or thought into recently, so now seems a good time to bring it up again!  Antidepressant prescribing has been rising at great speed over the last couple of decades, with accelerated increases from 2008 (the year the economic recession hit, in case you didn’t know).  Can we really be so naïve as to think this is a result of a pandemic of the horrible ‘illness’ of depression?  No.  People are more stressed because of job insecurity and financial hardship; kids are bombarded with pressure to do well academically, look good and be ‘cool’; we are all constantly glued to some form of electronic communication, stifled by it without even realising, unable to truly connect to our actual surroundings and the people we love.  Are drugs really the solution to all of this?  I’ll leave it to you to answer that question…

Now, to get back on topic (sorry!).  I was thinking this evening about how my aspirations in life, my dreams, have changed.  Two years ago I was convinced that all I wanted to be was a clinical psychologist and I’d do whatever it took and never give up till I got there.  How crazy that seems now that I’ve come to realise how fervently I contest the clinical conception of mood and mental state!  But deep inside I haven’t really changed: my dreams of being a clinical psychologist were born from an intense desire to make things better in the world of mental health.  And that desire couldn’t be truer today.  And it’s no coincidence that I’ve ended up studying and working in public health instead of clinical psychology: public health is the art and science of promoting health and preventing illness, and it is helping people realise how the art of resilience, the science of exercise, nutrition & neurology and the joy of a balanced and meaningful life can help keep mental health in check, and that remembering these principles and treating the person as an individual when difficulties strike can curb this mental health crisis that modern Western society faces. 

So, with that in mind, I’m picking myself up, dusting myself off and reconnecting with the things that make me happy:  starting from now, I’m spending my evenings writing, listening to delightful music and seeing friends; I’m planning to go to Raw Fest next month; I’m exercising when I can and not being too hard on myself when I can’t.  And I already feel a heck of a lot better for it!  

 

The beautiful piece of music this post is named for

Run For Your Life

Me time trialling - perhaps
mindfulness could have helped me?!

Hello friends and welcome to ‘my cloud’!  I hope you find this to be a good read, and would love it if you could leave comments and share with others.  I am writing in a post-workout endorphin-enhanced state, which I have just realised is probably my favourite state to write in!  And my realising this, I think, is down to my newfound mindful way of living - having started practicing mindfulness a few months ago, I’m so much more aware of my thoughts and feelings in everyday situations - see my previous post for a bit more on the general benefits of mindfulness.

So, to get to the point of this post: I’ve just been for a run (and by run, I mean short jog!).  Of course, the fact that I went running is not the whole point of this post, but bear with me!  In recent times I’ve been making an effort to be more mindful during everyday activities, especially exercise.  This basically involves being fully aware of what I’m doing while I’m doing it, and noticing with curiosity how I feel physically and mentally whilst exercising. 

We all know that exercise is good for our mental wellbeing, and more and more of us are coming to realise that mindfulness is another powerful tool for maintaining and enhancing our psychological health.  Combine the two, and the result, I think, is magic!  It opens up a whole world of benefits, which I see as coming into two main categories.

The first is that exercise sessions are wonderful opportunities to practice mindfulness.  This in itself is a great thing, as the more we practice, the more benefits we reap.  Not only that, but it can make the experience more enjoyable and meaningful that it otherwise would be.  For instance, on my run today I noticed that the upright posture I was adopting made me feel strong and powerful (see this TED talk for more on body language and feelings of power).  On a recent bike ride I found noticed how soothing the easy feeling and sound of my slick tyres on a smooth road surface was, and the soft vibrations coming through my padded handlebar tape on a slightly rougher road surface.  One also notices a lot more of the natural beauty around you when you running, walking or cycling mindfully, and this in itself is a wonderful mood-booster.  Another way of bringing mindfulness to exercise is to simply notice the feeling of the feet touching the ground or turning the pedals, or of the wind in your face and hair.

Mindfulness can turn pain into power and enhance performance!

The second key advantage of mindful exercise is performance enhancement.  I realise that if you’re a serious athlete, the idea of leisurely taking in the scenery or enjoying a smooth road surface may not be quite up your street!  The good news is that I also think it has enormous potential to enhance performance.  This is because mindfulness is very much about paying attention to how we feel in a non-judgemental way.  So, by adopting a mindful approach during exercise, when pain kicks in you can get through it by simply noticing and allowing the sensations, without attaching negativity to it or wishing it felt different. 

I toyed with the idea of using mindfulness to improve performance a little on my run today, and genuinely think it helped me to go a little faster.  I’ve also tried it whilst going uphill on my bike and doing weights.  I think it’s something that’ll take some practice to get big performance enhancements from, but can really see the potential.  Another idea I have is to build it up slowly (after all, mindfulness is like the gym but for your mind: the more you do it, the easier it gets).  For instance, on my recent mindful bike ride I quite enjoyed the feeling of tension and power when going up a short hill.  With practice, I think this technique of mindfully noticing the sensations in my legs could help me a lot with harder climbs.

One to read for more
on mindful cycling

Of course, my experience so far is with a limited range of activities, but I think it can be applied to anything.  I’m especially interested to apply mindfulness next time I go climbing and see where it gets me!

So, there it is: a whistle-stop tour of my thoughts on the magic of mindful exercise!  I’d welcome comments from anyone who uses mindfulness when exercising, and hope to write more on this later when I’ve tried the technique out a bit more and looked into what research is out there on the topic.  In the meantime, I hope I might have inspired you to give mindful exercise a go and that you can reap the benefits from it.  Run, walk, climb, lift, cycle, row – or whatever your chosen activity – for your life!

A Perfect Tourniquet

Hello and thank you for visiting my blog!  I haven’t written anything on here for a while so it feels good to be back, and I’m quite pleased with myself for finding the time as I’m very preoccupied with uni work at the moment!  I’m always telling people it’s not healthy to study too much, so I’m practising what I preach and doing something different for an hour or two.  And what better way to spend that hour or two than to write?!

As I write this I’m actually feeling quite inspired.  I recently completed an 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course and am amazed by what a positive experience this was.  What’s even more amazing is the potential for massive long-term benefits on my wellbeing.  It’s something I think everyone should be able to benefit from and I encourage all my readers to start practicing mindfulness, whether just listening to a few guided meditations on YouTube, attending a seminar or doing a full-blown course.

The reason I’m so keen that people should practice mindfulness is I think it’s almost essential for coping with modern life in a healthy way.  Most of us have such busy lives in Western society.  We have stressful jobs, studying to do, families to look after, illnesses and injuries to contend with, a whole host of other challenges, or any combination of the above!  And with the way technology has advanced in recent times, we are now faced with a constant need to be connected to the internet, glued to a laptop, tablet or smartphone, texting, checking Facebook, playing a game or looking at the sports scores.  All in all, in my opinion this is not conducive to good mental wellbeing (I’ve written about this in a previous post too: see Feeling The Moment).

All these things mean we can feel constantly busy, in a rush and under pressure to be going somewhere or doing something.  We seem to have lost the ability to simply enjoy the moment and be fully immersed in whatever we’re doing at any one time.  What a shame that many of us can’t enjoy a meal with friends without checking our phones.  Or that we experience a heart-sinking feeling every time we check our phones and don’t have messages.  That being always aware of what we need to do next detracts from our enjoyment of time with friends and family.

Mindfulness can bring some peace and stillness to a hectic life

Since our jobs and studies and other responsibilities aren’t going anywhere, and I don’t see our reliance on technology going backwards any time soon, what we need is a way to adapt to this type of lifestyle and stay mentally healthy at the same time.  This means a need to make the effort to connect with ourselves and with the present moment every so often, rather than always being connected with social media or worrying about what’s happening tomorrow.  And this is exactly what mindfulness teaches us to do!

Even though we do all have busy lives, mindfulness can fit right into them.  Whether it be a 10 or 20 minute meditation, taking a moment to breathe deeply and acknowledge how we are feeling a few times a day, or simply being completely aware of what we are doing whilst we are doing it, we can always make time for mindfulness.  In turn, we can feel more relaxed, learn about ourselves and enjoy life more.  Ultimately, we can even find that some of the rushing around, being glued to technology and stressing about life we do is completely unnecessary!  Mindfulness, in my eyes, is the ‘perfect tourniquet’ to stem the flow of negative emotions that can be caused by hectic lives.  

One of my favourite ways to relax and connect with the moment is to listen to music.  I find music indredibly nourishing, whether this be through the emotional power of lyrics or the soothing effect of a beautiful piece of melodic music.  If you're a music lover too, try spending a little time each day listening to music and really connecting with it.  I find this helpful when my mind is very busy and I'm not getting on well with meditation.  On the note of music, I always try to name my blog posts after songs or lyrics, and this one is from an incredible band Anberlin.  The song doesn't have a great deal to do with what I'm writing about, but the title seemed apt, and I've put a video at the bottom of the page for you to check out.

Being mindful doesn't always have to involve meditation!

Other ways to bring mindfulness into your everyday activites is to notice the sensations in your feet when walking, spend time really noticing the flavours, textures and colours in your food, or simply to make yourself completely aware of what you're doing or how your feeling at any time.  If this all seems a little too much, simply try and spend a little time every day (or at least most days!) doing something you enjoy.

Staying motivated to practice mindfulness every day is challenging, and for all my raving about it I’m not always that good at it!  Fortunately I had a new burst of inspiration when I met up with some people from my MBSR course yesterday, plus I’ve volunteered to become a Mindfulness Advocate which will get me more involved with mindfulness and encourage me to keep practising.  I’m really looking forward to continuing on a lifelong mindfulness journey and helping others to do the same!

Links:

   

Dorset Mindfulness Centre

Guided meditations to kickstart your mindfulness journey

 

Love Story?

A slightly early Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all!  Whether you’re a singleton, part of a happy couple, have been married forever, a serial dater, or suffering from heartbreak, I reach out and wish you joy on the annual day of love!

Valentine’s Day seems to have become a big deal for a lot of people, seemingly more so every year.  Whilst I can see it’s appeal, it also has its downsides, so overall I have mixed feelings about the whole thing.  Here’s my take on the ups and downs of V-Day:

Every year, as the middle of February comes around, I find it a little baffling that so many people talk about how depressing it is to be single on Valentine’s Day.  This is probably in part because I don’t really get the concept to begin with: it’s over-commercialised.  It’s seen as a great night to go out but all the nice places to eat and drink are packed and noisy.  Also, I don’t see why we should subscribe to being romantic on a set day of the year!  Why not express appreciation for loved ones every day of the year?!

That said, I don’t want to come across as having a ‘bah-humbug’ type of attitude to Valentine’s Day.  Of course it’s nice to have an excuse to spoil our loved ones, spend quality time together and get romantic.  But why feel down if you’re not in a romantic relationship?  I for one have only ever been with someone one Valentine’s Day once, in the quarter of a century I’ve spent on the planet, and I can’t say it’s ever bothered me too much!

The one time I did ‘do Valentine’s Day’, I still didn’t really do it properly, so to speak.  There was a romantic meal, but we did this the weekend after the day itself, avoiding the overcrowding that I can only assume occurs on the day itself.  Other than that, the whole thing was a little disappointing: I’d bought some lovely goodies for my at-the-time-boyfriend, despite being a poor student, and in return got a couple of tacky gifts that had probably been bought at a service station on the way to seeing me!  Not so romantic after all!

Anyway, this doesn’t make me bitter or anything, it just makes me think the whole occasion is a bit over-hyped, which I guess a lot of people will agree with.  Also, I’m quite pleased to be able to say I was once given a red rose on V-Day.  I was still at school and must’ve been about 16.  A charming male friend of mine had bought about half a dozen red roses and handed them out to his nearest and dearest female friends.  A lovely touch, and something that’s remained vividly in my memory for all these years!

Fun with friends! :)

This nicely illustrates my main point, which is this: to me, there’s no point in getting down about being single on V-Day (I’m bored of typing Valentine’s!); instead, why not show some extra love and appreciation to others you hold dear?!  Let us singletons turn a would-be-disheartening occasion into a celebration of being single and free to enjoy time with our friends! 

I’m thinking a picnic in the park with my friends this Saturday will do the trick: for couples, this can be quite a romantic activity, but this will be with the added bonus of greater numbers (the more the merrier & all that!) AND made more fun by a spot of Frisbee!  Who’s in?!

Share the love this Valentine's Day, even if you're single!

If it rains, let’s go to the pub instead.  Can’t go wrong, right?!

Anyway, that’s all from me for now.  Whatever you’re doing, I hope you have a delightful time this weekend, with whichever loved one (or ones) you choose.  If you’re the type to feel a little low at this time of year, I challenge you to flip that switch, turn a negative into a positive and celebrate single life!