The Joy of Childhood

Right before COVID-19 distancing measures came into play in the UK, I was fortunate enough to squeeze in a trip to London, including a visit to the Wellcome Collection museum. I often see reviews of interesting exhibitions at the place and wish I could go more often, so I relished the chance to check out the Play Well feature that occupied the downstairs gallery (which is usually hosting something on an intriguing psychology-related theme).

Now, I have to admit I’m not a huge museum person in general – I usually grow tired and disinterested quite quickly when I visit them - but each time I’ve been to the Wellcome collection I’ve found their exhibitions to offer a very engaging experience. Through a thought-provoking mix of historical artefacts, artwork, video and more, Play Well explores the impact that play has on our lives – including its benefits to wellbeing – and how it has changed over the years. The exhibition really struck a chord with me, and I’d like to share my thoughts on some of the most pertinent features here.

The paradox of adulthood

I’ve often reflected on what a shame it is that we lose something of our propensity to play when we become adults, and this exhibition really brought that sad fact to the front of my mind. Indeed, the very first thing you see when you walk in the front door is a video of some primary school children answering questions about play, one of which was something to do with whether adults need play. Poignantly, a [roughly] 9-year-old matter-of-factly states that yes, adults do need play, so they can have a break and a rest. It’s a simple truth, but one that isn’t given anywhere near enough attention in day-to-day life. It’s an unfortunate paradox that perhaps the very reasons we need play to help us let go and wind down – increased responsibility, more stress, less time for doing the things we enjoy – are exactly what rob us of it as we grow up.

One person who talks a lot of sense about this stuff is actress, author and stand-up comedian Miranda Hart. Her fondness for ‘jollying life up’ shines through in everything from the exaggerated version of herself she plays in her sitcom to the fact that she’s released a book for the specific purpose of offering the reader a Daily Dose of Such Fun. To quote a favourite scene from Miranda:

“If adults had even the slightest in-the-moment joy of a child, then frankly the world would be a better place”

Never has something so profoundly poignant and philosophical been stated so simply and eloquently in a slapstick sitcom, but there you have it: wise words from my life hero. Everyone should play more and have more fun; end of!

The sensation of simplicity

Fröbel's gifts

One of my favourite parts of Play Well was the display of Fröbels Gifts, a set of materials designed by German educationist Friedrich Fröbel for the original Kindergarten in the 1800s. The Gifts were designed to facilitate learning and creativity throughout infancy and childhood, and comprised activities such as building blocks,  paper weaving, mosaic building and creating shapes & structures from, for instance, semi-dried peas & toothpicks or coloured pieces resembling lollipop sticks (to name just a few; see the video for more!). I was both surprised and heartened to find that as I viewed the artefacts, I did so with a compelling sense of familiarity: I warmly remembered playing with a lot of this stuff at school and at my grandparents’ house, and a bittersweet sense of nostalgia ensued.

I was pleased to hear from another visitor that these types of materials are still being used in her own work setting – a special educational needs school – but I wonder whether many kids still get to enjoy such activities today. More to the point, I wondered whether as adults we might benefit from such an opportunity: paper-weaving, for example, would make for a lovely mindfulness activity, and I’d rather hoped to purchase some papers and start practicing this at home. Alas, a quick search on Amazon reveals that you simply can’t but this stuff today, at least not from mainstream sources. What a shame.

The power of exploration

Another highlight of my Play Well experience was engaging with the ‘live-action role play’ (LARP) piece; a phenomenon designed to get people exploring and acting out situations in the context of a specifically-designed set of props. In this particular case, there were no rules or objective, but the designer had provided shapes and objects that were deliberately ambiguous in order to foster creativity and discovery. Visitors were particularly encouraged to interact with others on the set, which is indeed what I did myself when I finally plucked up the courage.

A playful moment

It was certainly true that the props on offer were ambiguous: the shapes seemed random and there was no clear way of using them or putting them together. My new companion and I had a bit of a laugh stacking them this way and that, seeing how well we could balance on them and so on. Then, all of a sudden we had a eureka moment – we could form the pieces into a perfect tree with a snake climbing it as if to reach the forbidden fruit – brilliant! We were childishly delighted with our creation, as you can see in the picture, and I think that’s exactly how it should be. Experiencing that in-the-moment joy from the smallest of things is something we surely all need more of.

I was just amazed by how simply being in that environment, letting go, experimenting and interacting with a stranger enabled a bunch of random shapes to become something meaningful. It goes to show that creativity is really facilitated by certain conditions, and conditions that most of us perhaps don’t experience much in our daily lives. How much better might we be at our jobs, or coming up with meal ideas, or thinking of novel things to do at the weekend, if we could offer ourselves those circumstances for creativity just a little more often?

Food for thought

As we live through the strange and unique experience presented by the COVID-19 pandemic, these thoughts are perhaps more poignant than ever. I talked in my previous post about the lightness that could come from such a dark situation, and I feel it brings with it an opportunity to cultivate creativity, enjoy the simple things and reconnect with the joy of childhood. A friend recently shared with me a quote that captures this quite nicely, a snippet from which reads:

“And the people stayed home. And they read books, and listened, and rested…made art, played games…And the people healed.” – Kitty O’Meara

I’ve added the italics myself for emphasis, as this is the crux of it all for me. Playing, and letting go, and spending time just being, is immensely healing. I hope we can discover and leverage that healing power and the joy of childhood through this difficult time and, more importantly, beyond. 

Grow Up And Be Kids

As you will be aware if you know me well or read my posts regularly, I’m really passionate about wellbeing and getting people looking after themselves better.  Our lifestyle choices such as eating habits, exercise and sleep hygiene all have an impact on both physical and mental wellbeing, as does the way we spend our time; for instance, working, being with loved ones and partaking in leisure activities.  I believe that by educating people from a young age about the impact of all these factors on health & wellbeing, we can potentially make a significant reduction in the number and severity of people requiring the use of mental health services and generally experiencing emotional distress.  

The coming series of posts will each focus on a different aspect of lifestyle and the impact of this on wellbeing.  This one looks at the benefits of releasing the inner child and having a bit more fun.  

As noted by Stephanie Davies in her highly recommendable book Laughology, babies and toddlers laugh up to 300 times a day, whereas for adults the average figure is just 17 times.  She states that this could be largely a result of coming to care too much about what others think, plus the increasing pressures and stresses we find ourselves under as we get older and take on more responsibilities.

Just because we have more responsibilities and things to worry about as adults (although most of us probably do a disproportionate amount of worrying, myself included!) this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take the time to have fun.  Why is it that as adults it becomes less socially acceptable to play, to have fun, to laugh?  There are actually a lot of benefits to doing these things, both physically and cognitively.

As I learnt from Laughology the physical benefits of laughter include the following:  It both tones and relaxes muscles, makes us feel happier and more alert, is good for the immune system and even helps to alleviate pain and other symptoms of illness.  Allowing time for play can also be good for our physical health if we decide to devote more time to a sport or other physical activity.  What I find more fascinating though is the impact of play on cognition and the wider implications of this on day to day life. 

In a recent article in The Psychologist, editor Jon Sutton proclaims that there is a crisis in the way in which children are expected to learn and grow up these days.  Play is vital in learning as it allows us to problem solve, take control of situations, be reflective and recognise the positives in things not going to plan.  We try something, it doesn’t work, so we try something else, that might not work; but eventually we succeed.  It seems obvious, but children aren’t being encouraged to learn in this way in as the fact-storing and examination culture in schools grows.  Not only is this stressful for children in itself, but it means they do not build a tolerance to failure, leading to a lack of resilience in later life. 

Another benefit to unleashing the inner child, as noted by Stephanie Davies, is its ability to make us think more creatively and less restrictively, therefore improving our ability to think outside the box and come up with new concepts and ideas.  Think of the way a child speaks and all the questions they ask; they haven’t yet had all the restrictions engrained into them that we apply to everyday life.  Thinking in this way as adults can have real benefits in intellectual and creative arenas, leading potentially to improved outcomes in professional and personal aspects of life.  In other words, work and play should not be compartmentalised and kept separate, as it so often is the case. 

The benefits of this child-like thinking style in achieving outcomes is also recognised by NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), which is all about using your thinking and behaviour to achieve excellence (or, at least, the outcomes you want).  As the author of 5-Minute NLP states, “Curiosity and experimentation increase choice.  They were part of your behaviour when you were a child and you had an open mind towards the world.  When you want to know more and try new things, you are more likely to succeed, as more choices of action will be open to you”.  

I’ve adopted the technique of having more fun in my own life to positive effect over the last couple of weeks:  I was getting pretty stressed and decided to take a load of pressure off of myself and spend more time doing fun stuff that I want to do.  So, I’m taking a break from my cycle racing and top-end training, spending more time with family & friends and starting to go climbing again, which I love but haven’t done for ages.  The result is that I feel far happier and more relaxed, as well as more ready and willing to tackle tasks such as writing my blog and taking productive and practical steps towards other projects I want to start up.  In other words, releasing the inner child really does work and you should try it!

In summary, allowing yourself to have more fun and be more child-like has a range of benefits, both for your wellbeing and for achieving favourable outcomes in life.  If you let your hair down a little more often, try new things and free yourself of the belief that play is for children only, you are likely to enjoy life more, feel happier and healthier and achieve better results in your work or study.  I'll wrap up by quoting two songs by one of my favourite bands, The Cab:

 'We're all just kids who grew up way too fast', so let's 'Grow Up And Be Kids'!!! 

References:

Boyes, C. (2013). 5-minute NLP. London: HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.

Davies, S. (2013).  Laughology. Camarthen: Crown House Publishing Ltd. 

Sutton, J. (2014).  'Play' is not a four-letter word. The Psychologist, 27(6), 393.