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I write this post with a somewhat heavy heart but at the same time feeling inspired.  I received some bad news over the weekend: Gary Dighton, a chap who I used to work with and a prolific part of the local cycling community that I’m a part of, took his own life on Friday.  As is usually the case in these situations, everyone who knew him is shocked and saddened by the news.

I’m not so good at receiving news like this.  When I was told, the first thing I said was “which Gary?”, knowing full well who was being spoken of but unable to accept what had happened.  Once I realised it was true, my first thought was that I wished I could’ve spoken to him, found out what was troubling him so deeply that he saw no other way through, and tried to help him find that alternative path.  “I wish I could save you”, to use a lyric from the emotive song that I’ve used to name this post.

This has led me to a bit of a period of self-reflection.  I realised that for me, possibly the most upsetting element of the whole situation is knowing that his family and close friends – people I know and am very fond of – are going through such a horrendous time.  I know that because, as you may have read in my post The Stairway to Heaven… one of my brothers took his own life when we were teens, which also probably makes me more sensitive to hearing this kind of news.  But the other thing I realised is that even though this area is so close to my heart, I’ve never taken a great deal of interest in it.

What I mean by that is I haven’t spent time reading research papers on suicide, I tend to skip past posts about suicide prevention when they pop up on social media, and I’ve never had the urge to raise money specifically for suicide prevention charities.  I’ve gotten thinking about this over the last few days and have realised this is probably a subconscious self-preservation thing.  It’s just too close to home so I avoid it and channel my passion elsewhere.

I hope to inspire people to discover optimum wellbeing

Instead, I have become enormously enthusiastic and passionate about wellbeing; about helping people make the most of life and getting through distress and trauma.  I guess that may have come from a fascination over how people react to trauma, based on my family experiences growing up.  But what I’ve realised over the last few days is that by doing this I’m actually indirectly working on suicide prevention too.

My passion, my goal and my life’s work is to teach people about how to optimise their wellbeing; how to be self-aware, know when something needs to change and how to change it to maintain and improve wellbeing.  Receiving that terrible news over the weekend has reinforced that what I’m doing is right: if I can reach out to people and make them realise that there are lots of things they can do to get out of those horrible, dark places, as well as inspiring people to truly make the best of a life that’s already quite good, perhaps I can make some sort of contribution to preventing people from reaching that point where they simply can’t make it through another day.

I generally believe that there’s always something good that comes from even the most devastating situations: in this case, the loss of a local legend has strengthened my passion for helping people through distress and made me realise that my aspirations hit even closer to home than even I realised before this point.  With a lot of hard work and a bit of luck, I hope that my life’s work will help many, and in some cases even ‘save you’ from the depth of despair. The fight for a healthier, happier society continues.

Looking Back On Today

Hello readers and welcome to 2015!  I hope it’s going to be a happy and successful year, not just for me but for everyone else too.  2014 saw my blog readership grow a lot, and I’m hoping for even more this year, so please help by sharing if you like what you read!

So, it’s around now that everyone’s thinking about New Year’s Resolutions and the ‘New Year, New Me’ cliché.   Resolutions are great if they’re realistic and you can stick to them, especially if they’re going to enhance your health or enjoyment of life (with this in mind, I’ll be posting some tips on trying something new shortly!).  At the same time, a new year shouldn’t only be about making promises about what you’ll do better in the coming months, but also about taking stock of your achievements and what you’ve done well in the year gone by.

Some positive words to get you motivated!

I think it’s in human nature to be quite harsh on ourselves, pick fault and always notice the things we did badly or aren’t so good at, rather than the other way around.  And think about it, if you’re setting out on a new year full of thoughts of what you need to improve about yourself, you’re not likely to be filling yourself with confidence or motivation to make those changes!  So give yourself a positive start to the year by looking back on 2014 and thinking about what went well.  How can you ensure you continue to be successful with those things and build on them?  Once you’ve taken stock and given yourself the credit you deserve, you’ll be in a better position to start making the changes needed to make things even better!

With this in mind, how about a New Year’s Resolution to be kinder to yourself?  To regularly

take stock of your achievements?  To write a gratitude list on the odd occasion?  How about regularly listing all the things you’ve got done at the end of a busy day or week? (this is like the opposite of a To Do List and MUCH more rewarding and mood-boosting!). 

Also, if you have made or are going to make a New Year’s Resolution, make sure it’s achievable.  There’s no point in setting yourself up for failure!  And if you have a little wobble or blip, don’t put it down to being an utter failure; it’s human nature to make mistakes!  Plus being too strict is unsustainable anyway.  As an example, if you’ve resolved to eat more healthily, there are various reasons you should cut yourself some slack: Firstly, you’d be silly to think that eating one chocolate or slice or cake means you’ve completely failed in your endeavour; the odd treat here and there won’t do any harm.  Secondly, it’s actually healthy to have a ‘cheat day’ once a week; this is rewarding and motivating and can help boost metabolism.  Thirdly, becoming overly concerned about what you’re eating can actually lead to really unhealthy thought processes, like an absolute obsession with what and how much you eat (a condition called orthorexia).

So, ‘New Year, New You’ is all well and good, but it’s important to pick the right resolutions, balance this with reminding yourself what’s good about the old you, and generally be kind to yourself.  Put all this together and you’ve got a recipe for a happier, healthier version of yourself in 2015! 

Links:

Orthorexia information:

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/orthorexia-nervosa