Tuesday 14 July 2015

What Dreams we Chase



Over the last few days I’ve been thinking a wee bit about what it is in life that makes me happy, what makes me tick, what keeps me feeling well and balanced.  I think it’s come out of the fact that I’ve been having to adjust my expectations of myself a bit: I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather with an ongoing, unresolved health issue – nothing major (as far as I’m aware!) – but enough that it has an impact on the way I’m living my life.  In recent years, physical fitness and keeping in shape have become really important to me, and a huge part of my identity (see this post about my days of racing my bike!).  Now that I’m not feeling so on form, I’m having to accept to the fact that at this time in my life I’m not destined to be super fit and doing intense exercise nearly every day, which not only means changing my lifestyle a little but also adjusting the very identity for myself that I’ve formed over the last few years!




Another side-effect of my slightly ill health is that I’ve found myself choosing to spend more time at home, especially in the evenings, when usually I’m out and about all the time.  This is in a quest not to over-do it, but I fear I may have been under-doing it as a result!  Naturally this doesn’t have the best effect on my mood, hence the philosophising about what I want out of life - which, of course, isn’t such a bad thing – silver linings and all that!




So, what have I come up with?  Well, firstly the fact that I can still do gentle exercise to keep in shape, which is a lot more than can be said for a lot of people so I should stop feeling so sorry for myself!  AND that time not being spent exercising can be spent doing other things that are important to me, of which there are plenty to keep me occupied (blogging being one of them)!




I’ve put my vague sense of discontent over the last few days down to being too inactive and just generally being fed up of not knowing quite what’s wrong with me physically (if anything) and how best to deal with it.  And it probably is those things.  But still, I got myself thinking about what I want to achieve in life.  I’ve got the best job I’ve ever had and it feels like the best things I could be doing right now.  Every day I help people on their journeys towards healthier lifestyles, which is pretty much the stuff of my dreams.  But I’ve realised it’s also important to keep alive my quest to be a part of radical change in the world of mental health.  To Western civilisation move away from the horrifying grip of medical psychiatry and start treating distressed people as people and not diseases. 




At a work event recently a discussion about mental health cropped up.  Currently the service I work in does not explicitly support people through mental health difficulties (although this may be a by-product of supporting people to make lifestyle changes for the benefits of their physical health!).  The upshot of the conversation was that our service is non-clinical, which makes mental health fall outside of its remit.  Anyone who knows me well (or has seen my posts such as Freedom and The Stairway to Heaven... may well guess where I’m going next with this…!




Mental. Health. Is. Not. Clinical.  That’s what I think!  Some of you may be sick of hearing me talk about it, but it’s something I feel very strongly about but have not put much time or thought into recently, so now seems a good time to bring it up again!  Antidepressant prescribing has been rising at great speed over the last couple of decades, with accelerated increases from 2008 (the year the economic recession hit, in case you didn’t know).  Can we really be so naïve as to think this is a result of a pandemic of the horrible ‘illness’ of depression?  No.  People are more stressed because of job insecurity and financial hardship; kids are bombarded with pressure to do well academically, look good and be ‘cool’; we are all constantly glued to some form of electronic communication, stifled by it without even realising, unable to truly connect to our actual surroundings and the people we love.  Are drugs really the solution to all of this?  I’ll leave it to you to answer that question…




Now, to get back on topic (sorry!).  I was thinking this evening about how my aspirations in life, my dreams, have changed.  Two years ago I was convinced that all I wanted to be was a clinical psychologist and I’d do whatever it took and never give up till I got there.  How crazy that seems now that I’ve come to realise how fervently I contest the clinical conception of mood and mental state!  But deep inside I haven’t really changed: my dreams of being a clinical psychologist were born from an intense desire to make things better in the world of mental health.  And that desire couldn’t be truer today.  And it’s no coincidence that I’ve ended up studying and working in public health instead of clinical psychology: public health is the art and science of promoting health and preventing illness, and it is helping people realise how the art of resilience, the science of exercise, nutrition & neurology and the joy of a balanced and meaningful life can help keep mental health in check, and that remembering these principles and treating the person as an individual when difficulties strike can curb this mental health crisis that modern Western society faces. 




So, with that in mind, I’m picking myself up, dusting myself off and reconnecting with the things that make me happy:  starting from now, I’m spending my evenings writing, listening to delightful music and seeing friends; I’m planning to go to Raw Fest next month; I’m exercising when I can and not being too hard on myself when I can’t.  And I already feel a heck of a lot better for it!  


 



The beautiful piece of music this post is named for

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