Step Into Christmas!

Christmas fun with Miranda

Welcome to my little, What I Call, Christmas Special blog post (Miranda Hart fans will no doubt appreciate this opening :)).  It’s a time of year for joy and fun, food and drink, family and friends, and appreciating all the good things life and the world have to offer.  Of course those of a certain religious status may find it offensive that I’ve said that, but honestly for me that’s what Christmas is and has been all my life; it’s not that I don’t appreciate the religious origins of Christmas, but I don’t have any qualms with admitting I’m not religious myself.  However, I think some of my own values when it comes to Christmas match the Christian ones: it should be a time for forgiveness, thankfulness and peace; this I hope is something we can all agree on, no matter what our religious backgrounds.

As I’ve already hinted at, for me, spending time with family and friends is pretty much the most important thing about Christmas.  In my last post I spoke about mindfulness, about taking more time to notice what’s going on and how I’m feeling in everyday situations.  This had led me to really think about and take note of the dynamics between people in different types of relationships, and at this time of year when many of us come together with family and friends, I thought it’d be fun to note some of my observations on relationships.

The first is that parents can be so mean and unreasonable to their kids!  When I was at the Track Cycling World Cup a couple of weekends ago (see my post That’sHow a Superhero Learns to Fly), there was a dad sat next to me with his young boy.  The kid managed to spill his lemonade all over the floor, and the dad went nuts at him: “you STUPID boy, I can’t believe you’ve done that, you need to be more careful…!!!”.  Many of us can probably remember being shouted at as kids for spilling things, but observing the situation as an

I've noticed parents shout at their kids for the silliest reasons!

outsider I found this guy’s reaction a little absurd: of course the kid didn’t mean to spill the drink and of course he was trying not to spill it (he surely wanted to drink it, after all).  It seems ridiculous that a parent gets so angry with a child for what is clearly a simple mistake that we all make.  He probably wouldn’t have dreamed of shouting at his friend in the pub for spilling a drink, or at his wife if she’d spilt or dropped something in the house!

I had a similar experience today in M&S where a girl walked past a pile of boxes of Christmas crackers and a couple of them fell over.  Her dad: “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?  Pick those up; what have you done?!!!”.  She said it wasn’t her that had knocked them over; I’m not sure whether this was the case or not but even if she had, once again her dad’s reaction was so over the top relative to the situation and the damage that had (or more to the point hadn’t!) been done.

Having a laugh with friends: one of life's true joys!

My next observation is how within pairs or groups of friends, you can say and do things which would be completely meaningless or plain weird to an outsider but make perfect sense to you and your friend.  Of course this is the case with in jokes, which we always have to be careful not to use out of context: as a result of a habit of one of my best friends from uni, who I lived with, several years on I find myself tempted to say “good luck; don’t miss” every time someone informs me they’re off to the toilet!  Another great one is how me and another of my best friends from uni can have the following interaction: Me: “Umm…” Her: “Yeah” Me: “Ok” Her: “Cool” and we’ve genuinely had a meaningful conversation with a tangible outcome.  Brilliant!

Another thing I love about friendship is how there are some people you don’t see or even speak to for months or years, and when you do get together it’s like you were never apart.  Believe it or not, until a couple of weeks ago I hadn’t seen either of the girls I live next door to properly for well over a year!  In my defence, myself and one of the other girls had both been living elsewhere for quite a bit of that time, but even so, there’s no excuse for us not seeing each other for so long!  But the amazing thing about my relationship with these girls is that we’re almost like family: I’ve lived in this house (on and off) for twelve years (that’s half my life, since I was twelve years old!), so we’ve kind of grown up together, and undeniably been through a lot as a group.  So when we do see each other we have a lovely time and chat for hours and hours, which makes all the time apart worth it.  Lovely.

We should be kind to ourselves at Christmas without stressing about work or stidies

At this special time of year, I’m making an extra big effort to really appreciate my family and friends.  I’m fortunate enough to have a couple of weeks off work so I really have a lot of time to spend with them, and I’m using mindfulness (see my previous post!) to make the most of it.  Something else I’m using Christmas as a good reason for is simply being kind to myself, which is something I think most of us overlook, not just over the festive period but all year round.  I don’t just mean looking after ourselves by eating healthily and exercising (I’m the first to admit this type of thing largely goes downhill for me over Christmas!) but treating ourselves in a friendly and compassionate manner (for instance not feeling bad about exercise and eating going out the window for a few days!).  Many students, particularly at this time of year, will know the horrible situation of being constantly in one of two less-than-enjoyable states: either studying, or feeling guilty for not studying, which leads to never feeling truly relaxed.  It’s important to schedule in recreation and leisure time whatever else you’ve got going on, and to make sure you switch off those feelings of guilt and really enjoy relaxation time to the max.

Essentially what I’m saying is, the way I see it, Christmas is all about truly enjoying yourself and appreciating life (not that you shouldn’t do this all year round!).  This might mean making some alterations in order to achieve this.  For example, going back to my observations about dynamics between families and friendship groups, if you start to notice certain things that are positive and negative about your own relationships you’ll appreciate the good bits more and have some insight as to how to change the negatives.  Come to think of it, the same can be said for any aspects of life: the more you are aware of your feelings, thoughts and surroundings, the more you can learn about what you need to do to improve your life, and which bits don’t need improving because they’re already good!

To conclude, I want everyone to have a great Christmas and New Year period, and hope for some this post will provide some helpful tips for maximum enjoyment, or at least makes for a good read.  One final tip I’d give is don’t try too hard to enjoy Christmas.  I’ve been guilty of trying to force myself to enjoy things on occasions and it just doesn’t work.  Instead, focus on consciously noticing and being aware, and enjoyment and happiness will naturally follow.

Thanks as always for reading; please make my Christmas extra special by sharing my blog to help to boost my readership .  It’s here to be read by as many people as possible after all; that’s why I write it!  And finally, I’d like to wish all my readers the merriest, happiest and healthiest of Christmases.  Eat, drink and be merry! 

"The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring"
Oscar Wilde

All The Small Things

The last few months have been pretty unsettled for me: new job, back at uni, accepting that I’m going to living with my parents for the next couple of years while I study, trying to build myself a routine and keep busy whilst not overworking myself.  Whilst I haven’t necessarily felt stressed on too many occasions, I often find it difficult to switch off.  To combat this, I’ve been practicing a spot of mindfulness.  Whilst I find meditation quite challenging (which I plan to address by undertaking a mindfulness course in the new year), what I have found to be of benefit is mindfulness of day to day living, which I would really recommend to others for stress reduction and general mood-boosting. 

Gingerbread latte makes me smile, and mindfulness adds to the enjoyment!

Examples of activities you can do this with are eating (really taking the time to eat slowly, notice the colours, smell, textures and taste of every mouthful) and showering (noticing how the water feels as it makes contact with the skin, the smells and feel of products used, and so on).  Personally I find mindful eating less easy to implement into everyday life as you really need a good half hour per meal, but what I have enjoyed on the odd occasion is the mindful consumption of a gingerbread latte (one of my favourite winter treats!). 

Many of us live such hectic lives, and taking a few minutes to be mindful can really help to ground us and switch off from that for a short time, which is really beneficial for wellbeing.  You don’t have to pick certain activities or times of day to practice everyday mindfulness; it is also about generally allowing yourself to notice things.  Those hectic schedules we have means we rush around and often don’t appreciate how amazing the world around us is: a beautiful sky as you drive home from work, the fresh feeling of crisp, cold air on your face as you step outside on a cold but glorious day, the feeling of treading on a crunchy leaf as you walk from the car to the office.  Being more in tune with your senses in this way can work wonders for your mood and it’s so easy to do!

 

Really noticing things reminds us how amazing the world is

I’ve been making an effort to notice things more over recent weeks and will share a couple of examples here.  Something I’ve really noticed is that I’m taking a lot more joy from other people’s happiness: perhaps I’ll see a child walking down the street hand in hand with a parent, both with big smiles on their faces or giggling at a joke they’ve shared; the simple fact that I notice this rather than being wrapped up in my own thoughts makes me smile.  When I listen to music I really listen to it, noticing all the different layers of sound and how they make me feel.  And the very incident that inspired me to write this post: just today someone pulled out in front of me on a busy road – it’s debatable whether he should’ve done; I wasn’t travelling fast and he may have thought I was letting him out – my initial reaction, as is usually the case when I’m in my car, was to be annoyed.  Then I looked at the guy in the van and he gave me a big cheeky smile, the campest wave of the hand I’ve ever seen in my life and blew me a kiss.  So, instead of being irritated I chose to be entertained and cheered by the guy’s reaction, and in fact it brightened up my day! 

In the example above, by truly noticing what was going on around me, rather than allowing myself to indulge in a negative self-absorbed reaction, I felt much happier than I otherwise would have done.  Everyday mindfulness not only gives us a break from racing thoughts and reduces stress, but it also allows us to appreciate all the small positive things a little more and notice how amazing the world is (refer back to my old post My Heart Is Open… for more on this type of thing!).  So, I would like to put it to you, my wonderful reader, if you don’t already, to try practicing a little everyday mindfulness, and see how much it brightens up your days!

Bad News Again

Did you know that people with mental health difficulties are at much greater risk of being victims of crime than the general population?  They are five times more likely to be victims of assault (males three times more likely and females 10 times more likely), and are more likely than the general population to be victimised by someone they know.  Not only that, but when they are victimised they generally perceive the crime as more serious, have greater support needs, find the criminal justice system more stressful and are less likely to have their support needs met.

These alarming statistics all came from the report At Risk, Yet Dismissed, which was published by the charities Mind and Victim Support last year.  They conducted a large research project, in conjunction with some London universities, to find out about people’s experiences of crime, attitudes towards seeking help after being victimised, who they sought help from (if anyone), what the barriers and facilitators were, and their experiences of help-seeking.  Although some positive experiences were disclosed, overall this report presents yet more bad news for people with mental health difficulties.

One of the most notable findings is the fact that there appears to be a ‘culture of disbelief’, whereby people with mental health problems are not seen as credible when reporting crimes.  Sadly this actually seems to be reinforced by the very piece of guidance that exists to ensure victims of crime get the support they need:  the Code of Practice for Victims of Crime states that vulnerable people (including those with mental health problems) should be considered for special measures to give them extra support whilst involved in the criminal justice system. However, it states that this is the case for mentally unwell people not because the experience will be more challenging for them, but because they may not be able to give such good evidence due to their condition!

To me, another of the most salient findings is that people with mental health problems are significantly more likely to experience adverse effects as a result of being victims of crime, most often in the form of emotional distress.  In some cases this leads to the person going into crisis and, in severe cases, hospital admissions.  This highlights the undeniable relationship between trauma and declining mental health, which for me is something that isn’t recognised to a great enough extent in mental health services in general (due to the largely biomedical approach often taken).

The report provides extensive qualitative data around people’s experiences of help seeking (or not!).  examples of findings were that people were more likely to seek help if they had a strong social network to support them, were less likely to report to the police if they had previous poor experience with them, more likely to report if police officers were more accessible in the community, and appreciated things like empathy, time, being believed and being actively listened to when reporting crimes and seeking help.

The final finding I will note here is that, amongst people with mental health problems, those most at risk of crime were people who engaged poorly with services, used drugs and had a history of exhibiting violent behaviour.  This is valuable in giving us clues as to where interventions to tackle the issue of victimisation of people with mental health problems should be targeted.

Based on their findings, Mind and Victim Support make several important recommendations.  These include building collaborative relationships and frameworks for supporting victims, training the police, mental health and community workforce to effectively support these people, empowering people to protect themselves from crime, supporting people to report crimes and seek help, and improving people’s experience of the criminal justice system, including courts.

I’m really pleased to currently be working as part of a project group in Dorset that is tackling the issues raised in this report.  Our Recovery Education Centre has developed a course called Staying Safe: Independence, Choice and Control, which helps people to identify ways they can keep themselves safe and to develop personal safety plans.  In the future we aim to provide this type of education in small groups or 1:1 basis, for people that aren’t able to attend the course, as well as providing more in-depth, individualised education and support to those who need it.  We are in the process of collecting data to demonstrate the need for these interventions in the area, which should help us to obtain funding to continue the good work.  Dorset Police has developed improved mental health training for their staff, and we plan to implement specialised training within mental health services too in the future.  There are so many other things that can be done to address these issues and I look forward to hopefully implementing more and more of them over time.

And Dorset isn’t the only place that’s responding positively and productively to the criminal victimisation of people with mental health problems.  The Mind report Police and Mental Health: Getting it Right Locally highlights a number of organisations nationally who are demonstrating good practice in this area.  And this is by no means an exhaustive account of the good work which is going on; no doubt new innovations and interventions are popping up all the time.  I look forward to hearing about more and more good work, networking with those who are doing this and gaining inspiration for work to do in my own locality.

Building an empathic, supportive workforce is vital in tackling these issues

If we get the business of supporting people who are victims of crime right, I hope this will also help us to tackle some of the general issues surrounding mental health, such as tackling stigma, improving collaborative working and treating people in respectful and individualised ways.  Central to this work is the building of strong communities and improving people’s support networks, which will be beneficial not only for victimisation projects but for society as a whole.  This, I hope, represents a big step in the direction of helping people to recover from trauma and mental distress, ang building a healthier, happier society.

That’s How a Superhero Learns to Fly

On Sunday I went to the Lee Valley VeloPark to watch the London round of the UCI Track World Cup 2014.  Track cycling is my favourite sport; it’s so exciting to watch and I love the fact that Great Britain is so good at it!  Lee Valley is where the track cycling for the London 2012 Olympics took place, and whilst I’d enjoyed watching track racing on TV on the odd occasion for a few years, this was the time that made me realise I just had to try this sport out for myself.  

So that’s what I did.  I found out there’s an outdoor velodrome in Bournemouth, not far from where I live, went along to a taster session then over the next few weeks attended three more beginners’ sessions until I became an accredited track rider.  By this time the summer season was over, meaning since the Bournemouth track is outdoors there was to be no more riding there for a good few months.  Fortunately I can a really good tip about some winter training that was available, from a chap I worked with at the time (no less than Gary Dighton who competed in the team time trial at the Barcelona 1992 Olympics!).  He recommended a weekly indoor ‘turbo’ session that took place really close to my house (for those who don’t know, a turbo is a piece of equipment that you can fix the back wheel of a bike to and ride stationary, which is great for controlled sessions and training when the weather’s bad). 

The guy who ran these turbo sessions I started going to is Adam, who, when a few months later I decided to try my hand at racing, became my coach.  I trained hard from March onwards and that summer made my racing debuts both on the track and on road time trial.  A winter of intense training followed; my riding really improved and I put in some good racing/time trial performances this summer just gone too.  Sadly part-way through the race season I decided to take a step back to focus on my career.  Training for track racing is really intense; you have to give it 100% to do well, and it’s draining mentally as much as it is physically.  I think making this decision was the best thing for me at the time, but I still dream of getting back to racing one day!

Going to Lee Valley on Sunday made me think of the fact that this was the very place that inspired me to get into track cycling to begin with.  It reminded me that if you really put your mind to something you can do it: coming to a sport at age 22 I knew it was unlikely I was going to end up at elite level or anything, but I worked hard, did well and got loads of praise from coaches who watched me develop and progress over those couple of years.  Right now, although I’m happy with some elements of my career (mainly that I’m studying for a Masters), there are others I’m yet to find my feet with (I’m struggling to get myself paid work that allows me to work anywhere near my full potential).  Going to the World Cup at the weekend has led to reflection on what I’ve achieved over the last few years and gives me a little boost of inspiration to keep pushing and working hard; if I keep doing this then this will come right.

I’ve spoken in a previous post (The Stairway to Heaven…) about positives coming out of hardship, and that’s what I’m really trying to remember right now.  In some of my blog posts a bang on about things people can do to keep themselves feeling good, and in a challenging time I myself am having to work really hard to practice what I preach!  I’m always inspired by people who overcome adversity to achieve amazing things (see You’re the Inspiration) and this is the case for my track cycling hero Laura Trott. 

This girl never fails to make a race really worth watching and wins gold after gold after gold for Team GB; not only this but off the track she always seems bright, down to earth and funny.  I love the juxtaposition between this bubbly character that we see in interviews and the sheer focus we see in the lead up to a race!  Anyway, although Laura is one of Britain’s best female athletes, her journey hasn’t been without it’s challenges: she was born with a collapsed lung and later diagnosed with asthma, being advised to use sport to help regulate her breathing.  But physical training with a health condition isn’t always plain sailing: in interviews I’ve heard Laura talk about the fact that sometimes she ‘trains so hard her teeth hurt!’, and she can often be observed throwing up after a race (poor girl!). She defies these challenges, brushes them off and carries on, and is incredibly successful as a result. 

In the coming weeks and months, I may continue to face the same struggles I have done over recent ones.  But my recent visit to Lee Valley VeloPark has given me a little bit of extra motivation to push through and carry on working hard in the face of hardship.  I hope this has made for a decent read and that you enjoy my pictures from the track!