Showing posts with label mood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mood. Show all posts

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

The Trouble is, This Trouble is Ours


I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the drinking culture we have in this country.  I’ve never been a massive drinker, but my current job involves, amongst other things, helping people to cut down on their alcohol, which has made me think of alcohol in a slightly different light in recent months.  I’ve become acutely aware that we have a huge drinking problem here in the UK, and I find this deeply concerning.




 
What’s the Problem?



It’s not unusual to enjoy a drink or two of an evening or weekend.  In fact, you’ll most likely be considered a little bit odd if you don’t.  Most of us would think nothing of having a couple of glasses of wine after work, a few pints on a Friday evening, or even getting absolutely smashed on a Saturday night.  It’s an incredibly normal way to behave, and those who decline to participate are often made to feel a little socially outcast.



Concern starts to creep in when you realise how easy it is to put your health at increased risk through drinking.  Even a few drinks a few times a week can increase the risk of problems like high blood pressure, diabetes and some cancers, not to mention weight gain.  It’s recommended that women drink no more than 2-3 units a day on a regular basis, and men 3-4 units.  Consider that a pint or a glass of wine usually contains something between 2 and 3 units, and it soon becomes clear that the majority of us are drinking more than the guideline amount on a regular basis without batting an eyelid. 



Unless you’re pregnant or driving, you’re likely to be mocked for not drinking, and often bullied into consuming more.  Drinking games are a key source of entertainment for many young people, intake of enormous amounts of alcohol is usually a rite of passage in university sports clubs, and a weekend without alcohol is considered unthinkable by many working people. 



So, as a nation, we’ve become culturally programmed to drink to levels that are almost definitely going to harm our health.  But for me, the main issue is not the mere fact that people are drinking too much.  More importantly, we need to be asking the question: why is this happening?  Yes; alcohol causes health problems, but the way I see is, the main issue is that drinking it is in itself a symptom: a symptom of living in a society where people no longer know how to keep themselves healthy and happy and lead meaningful lives.  I’ve talked before about how modern Westernsociety is not conducive to wellbeing.  Our drinking culture is one of the many manifestations of this problem.  To speak in extremes, our collective obsession with drinking alcohol is a symptom of deep-seated societal unhappiness.





What’s the solution?



This question has a very simple answer, and simultaneously a very complex one!  In simple terms, if unhappiness is the cause of the problem, the solution is to increase happiness at the population level.  If everyone had ways of maintaining their wellbeing without the use of alcohol or other substances, binge drinking would be far less common.



Of course, if the solution really were so simple, we wouldn’t have the problem on our hands in the first place!  The perceived need to drink alcohol arises from a complex range of factors.  Workplace stress, family situations, self-esteem, social pressure, hectic schedules, financial hardship, emotional trauma and lack of knowledge, to name but a few, are all things that contribute to the need to drink.  Take a moment to consider the fact that it is highly socially acceptable to use a substance to deal with everyday stress and emotions, and hopefully you can see why I find this so concerning.




What can we do about it?



There’s actually a lot of good stuff already going on to combat the problem of binge drinking.  The Sober for October campaign encourages people to stop drinking for the month, with a view to raising awareness of the harms of alcohol and helping people to realise how good they can feel for not drinking.  There’s also a wealth of smaller campaigns doing great work on helping people to cut back on their alcohol intake, for instance, My Happy Hour and the Purbeck Pledge in my local area.



Each one of us is the master of our own wellbeing if we give ourselves half a chance to be.  That means that you have the power to make a change to your own lifestyle and improve your health and wellbeing. 



As a starting point, you can learn more about the effects of alcohol and the units and calories in your favourite drinks, find out how risky your own drinking habits are and get support to make a change on the Drinkaware website.  Most importantly, you can figure out and use other pastimes and coping strategies to manage stress, enjoy your evenings and weekends, and become healthier and happier.  Try asking yourself the following questions to explore the possibility of cutting down on drinking.  Why not challenge a friend to do the same?



  • Why do I drink?
  •  What are the pros and cons of drinking?
  • What are the pros and cons of reducing my drinking?
  • What impact might drinking be having on my health and other aspects of my life?
  • How might my life be better if I drank less?
  • How can my friends and family support me to reduce my drinking? 
  • What other things can I fill my time with instead of drinking?
  • How much do I feel I should be drinking each week and how can I work towards this?



Whether you want to go sober for October, reduce your alcohol intake long-term, cut it out completely, learn more or make no changes at all, I hope you’ve found this piece interesting or helpful on some level.  I hope you’ll be joining me on the journey towards a healthier, happier nation.

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Love Story?



A slightly early Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all!  Whether you’re a singleton, part of a happy couple, have been married forever, a serial dater, or suffering from heartbreak, I reach out and wish you joy on the annual day of love!

Valentine’s Day seems to have become a big deal for a lot of people, seemingly more so every year.  Whilst I can see it’s appeal, it also has its downsides, so overall I have mixed feelings about the whole thing.  Here’s my take on the ups and downs of V-Day:

Every year, as the middle of February comes around, I find it a little baffling that so many people talk about how depressing it is to be single on Valentine’s Day.  This is probably in part because I don’t really get the concept to begin with: it’s over-commercialised.  It’s seen as a great night to go out but all the nice places to eat and drink are packed and noisy.  Also, I don’t see why we should subscribe to being romantic on a set day of the year!  Why not express appreciation for loved ones every day of the year?!

That said, I don’t want to come across as having a ‘bah-humbug’ type of attitude to Valentine’s Day.  Of course it’s nice to have an excuse to spoil our loved ones, spend quality time together and get romantic.  But why feel down if you’re not in a romantic relationship?  I for one have only ever been with someone one Valentine’s Day once, in the quarter of a century I’ve spent on the planet, and I can’t say it’s ever bothered me too much!

The one time I did ‘do Valentine’s Day’, I still didn’t really do it properly, so to speak.  There was a romantic meal, but we did this the weekend after the day itself, avoiding the overcrowding that I can only assume occurs on the day itself.  Other than that, the whole thing was a little disappointing: I’d bought some lovely goodies for my at-the-time-boyfriend, despite being a poor student, and in return got a couple of tacky gifts that had probably been bought at a service station on the way to seeing me!  Not so romantic after all!

Anyway, this doesn’t make me bitter or anything, it just makes me think the whole occasion is a bit over-hyped, which I guess a lot of people will agree with.  Also, I’m quite pleased to be able to say I was once given a red rose on V-Day.  I was still at school and must’ve been about 16.  A charming male friend of mine had bought about half a dozen red roses and handed them out to his nearest and dearest female friends.  A lovely touch, and something that’s remained vividly in my memory for all these years!

Fun with friends! :)
This nicely illustrates my main point, which is this: to me, there’s no point in getting down about being single on V-Day (I’m bored of typing Valentine’s!); instead, why not show some extra love and appreciation to others you hold dear?!  Let us singletons turn a would-be-disheartening occasion into a celebration of being single and free to enjoy time with our friends! 

I’m thinking a picnic in the park with my friends this Saturday will do the trick: for couples, this can be quite a romantic activity, but this will be with the added bonus of greater numbers (the more the merrier & all that!) AND made more fun by a spot of Frisbee!  Who’s in?!
Share the love this Valentine's Day, even if you're single!

If it rains, let’s go to the pub instead.  Can’t go wrong, right?!

Anyway, that’s all from me for now.  Whatever you’re doing, I hope you have a delightful time this weekend, with whichever loved one (or ones) you choose.  If you’re the type to feel a little low at this time of year, I challenge you to flip that switch, turn a negative into a positive and celebrate single life!

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Step Into Christmas!


Christmas fun with Miranda

Welcome to my little, What I Call, Christmas Special blog post (Miranda Hart fans will no doubt appreciate this opening :)).  It’s a time of year for joy and fun, food and drink, family and friends, and appreciating all the good things life and the world have to offer.  Of course those of a certain religious status may find it offensive that I’ve said that, but honestly for me that’s what Christmas is and has been all my life; it’s not that I don’t appreciate the religious origins of Christmas, but I don’t have any qualms with admitting I’m not religious myself.  However, I think some of my own values when it comes to Christmas match the Christian ones: it should be a time for forgiveness, thankfulness and peace; this I hope is something we can all agree on, no matter what our religious backgrounds.




As I’ve already hinted at, for me, spending time with family and friends is pretty much the most important thing about Christmas.  In my last post I spoke about mindfulness, about taking more time to notice what’s going on and how I’m feeling in everyday situations.  This had led me to really think about and take note of the dynamics between people in different types of relationships, and at this time of year when many of us come together with family and friends, I thought it’d be fun to note some of my observations on relationships.




The first is that parents can be so mean and unreasonable to their kids!  When I was at the Track Cycling World Cup a couple of weekends ago (see my post That’sHow a Superhero Learns to Fly), there was a dad sat next to me with his young boy.  The kid managed to spill his lemonade all over the floor, and the dad went nuts at him: “you STUPID boy, I can’t believe you’ve done that, you need to be more careful…!!!”.  Many of us can probably remember being shouted at as kids for spilling things, but observing the situation as an
I've noticed parents shout at their kids for the silliest reasons!
outsider I found this guy’s reaction a little absurd: of course the kid didn’t mean to spill the drink and of course he was trying not to spill it (he surely wanted to drink it, after all).  It seems ridiculous that a parent gets so angry with a child for what is clearly a simple mistake that we all make.  He probably wouldn’t have dreamed of shouting at his friend in the pub for spilling a drink, or at his wife if she’d spilt or dropped something in the house!




I had a similar experience today in M&S where a girl walked past a pile of boxes of Christmas crackers and a couple of them fell over.  Her dad: “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?  Pick those up; what have you done?!!!”.  She said it wasn’t her that had knocked them over; I’m not sure whether this was the case or not but even if she had, once again her dad’s reaction was so over the top relative to the situation and the damage that had (or more to the point hadn’t!) been done.




Having a laugh with friends: one of life's true joys!
My next observation is how within pairs or groups of friends, you can say and do things which would be completely meaningless or plain weird to an outsider but make perfect sense to you and your friend.  Of course this is the case with in jokes, which we always have to be careful not to use out of context: as a result of a habit of one of my best friends from uni, who I lived with, several years on I find myself tempted to say “good luck; don’t miss” every time someone informs me they’re off to the toilet!  Another great one is how me and another of my best friends from uni can have the following interaction: Me: “Umm…” Her: “Yeah” Me: “Ok” Her: “Cool” and we’ve genuinely had a meaningful conversation with a tangible outcome.  Brilliant!




Another thing I love about friendship is how there are some people you don’t see or even speak to for months or years, and when you do get together it’s like you were never apart.  Believe it or not, until a couple of weeks ago I hadn’t seen either of the girls I live next door to properly for well over a year!  In my defence, myself and one of the other girls had both been living elsewhere for quite a bit of that time, but even so, there’s no excuse for us not seeing each other for so long!  But the amazing thing about my relationship with these girls is that we’re almost like family: I’ve lived in this house (on and off) for twelve years (that’s half my life, since I was twelve years old!), so we’ve kind of grown up together, and undeniably been through a lot as a group.  So when we do see each other we have a lovely time and chat for hours and hours, which makes all the time apart worth it.  Lovely.




We should be kind to ourselves at Christmas without stressing about work or stidies
At this special time of year, I’m making an extra big effort to really appreciate my family and friends.  I’m fortunate enough to have a couple of weeks off work so I really have a lot of time to spend with them, and I’m using mindfulness (see my previous post!) to make the most of it.  Something else I’m using Christmas as a good reason for is simply being kind to myself, which is something I think most of us overlook, not just over the festive period but all year round.  I don’t just mean looking after ourselves by eating healthily and exercising (I’m the first to admit this type of thing largely goes downhill for me over Christmas!) but treating ourselves in a friendly and compassionate manner (for instance not feeling bad about exercise and eating going out the window for a few days!).  Many students, particularly at this time of year, will know the horrible situation of being constantly in one of two less-than-enjoyable states: either studying, or feeling guilty for not studying, which leads to never feeling truly relaxed.  It’s important to schedule in recreation and leisure time whatever else you’ve got going on, and to make sure you switch off those feelings of guilt and really enjoy relaxation time to the max.




Essentially what I’m saying is, the way I see it, Christmas is all about truly enjoying yourself and appreciating life (not that you shouldn’t do this all year round!).  This might mean making some alterations in order to achieve this.  For example, going back to my observations about dynamics between families and friendship groups, if you start to notice certain things that are positive and negative about your own relationships you’ll appreciate the good bits more and have some insight as to how to change the negatives.  Come to think of it, the same can be said for any aspects of life: the more you are aware of your feelings, thoughts and surroundings, the more you can learn about what you need to do to improve your life, and which bits don’t need improving because they’re already good!




To conclude, I want everyone to have a great Christmas and New Year period, and hope for some this post will provide some helpful tips for maximum enjoyment, or at least makes for a good read.  One final tip I’d give is don’t try too hard to enjoy Christmas.  I’ve been guilty of trying to force myself to enjoy things on occasions and it just doesn’t work.  Instead, focus on consciously noticing and being aware, and enjoyment and happiness will naturally follow.




Thanks as always for reading; please make my Christmas extra special by sharing my blog to help to boost my readership .  It’s here to be read by as many people as possible after all; that’s why I write it!  And finally, I’d like to wish all my readers the merriest, happiest and healthiest of Christmases.  Eat, drink and be merry! 

"The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring"
Oscar Wilde

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

All The Small Things


The last few months have been pretty unsettled for me: new job, back at uni, accepting that I’m going to living with my parents for the next couple of years while I study, trying to build myself a routine and keep busy whilst not overworking myself.  Whilst I haven’t necessarily felt stressed on too many occasions, I often find it difficult to switch off.  To combat this, I’ve been practicing a spot of mindfulness.  Whilst I find meditation quite challenging (which I plan to address by undertaking a mindfulness course in the new year), what I have found to be of benefit is mindfulness of day to day living, which I would really recommend to others for stress reduction and general mood-boosting. 


Gingerbread latte makes me smile, and mindfulness adds to the enjoyment!
Examples of activities you can do this with are eating (really taking the time to eat slowly, notice the colours, smell, textures and taste of every mouthful) and showering (noticing how the water feels as it makes contact with the skin, the smells and feel of products used, and so on).  Personally I find mindful eating less easy to implement into everyday life as you really need a good half hour per meal, but what I have enjoyed on the odd occasion is the mindful consumption of a gingerbread latte (one of my favourite winter treats!). 


Many of us live such hectic lives, and taking a few minutes to be mindful can really help to ground us and switch off from that for a short time, which is really beneficial for wellbeing.  You don’t have to pick certain activities or times of day to practice everyday mindfulness; it is also about generally allowing yourself to notice things.  Those hectic schedules we have means we rush around and often don’t appreciate how amazing the world around us is: a beautiful sky as you drive home from work, the fresh feeling of crisp, cold air on your face as you step outside on a cold but glorious day, the feeling of treading on a crunchy leaf as you walk from the car to the office.  Being more in tune with your senses in this way can work wonders for your mood and it’s so easy to do!
 


Really noticing things reminds us how amazing the world is
I’ve been making an effort to notice things more over recent weeks and will share a couple of examples here.  Something I’ve really noticed is that I’m taking a lot more joy from other people’s happiness: perhaps I’ll see a child walking down the street hand in hand with a parent, both with big smiles on their faces or giggling at a joke they’ve shared; the simple fact that I notice this rather than being wrapped up in my own thoughts makes me smile.  When I listen to music I really listen to it, noticing all the different layers of sound and how they make me feel.  And the very incident that inspired me to write this post: just today someone pulled out in front of me on a busy road – it’s debatable whether he should’ve done; I wasn’t travelling fast and he may have thought I was letting him out – my initial reaction, as is usually the case when I’m in my car, was to be annoyed.  Then I looked at the guy in the van and he gave me a big cheeky smile, the campest wave of the hand I’ve ever seen in my life and blew me a kiss.  So, instead of being irritated I chose to be entertained and cheered by the guy’s reaction, and in fact it brightened up my day! 


In the example above, by truly noticing what was going on around me, rather than allowing myself to indulge in a negative self-absorbed reaction, I felt much happier than I otherwise would have done.  Everyday mindfulness not only gives us a break from racing thoughts and reduces stress, but it also allows us to appreciate all the small positive things a little more and notice how amazing the world is (refer back to my old post My Heart Is Open… for more on this type of thing!).  So, I would like to put it to you, my wonderful reader, if you don’t already, to try practicing a little everyday mindfulness, and see how much it brightens up your days!